If there is one truth in this entire universe, it is that I will always say the dumbest possible thing at any given moment. In most cases, this dumb thing I say will be the only thing I offer to the entire conversation, leaving everyone present with the impression that I probably shouldn’t be walking around on my own. I have no idea why this happens. I mean, I don’t consider myself a genius by anyone’s standards, but aptitude tests show that I should at least have the capacity to meet new people and have a conversation (that makes sense) with them.
Now, I could tell you the whole story, but the truth is that I really just need to tell you what I said to get the point across. I said… Wait for it… “This isn’t my first rodeo.” First of all, who actually says that? Are there really people in this world who feel that’s a valuable contribution to any conversation? Secondly, this inane utterance had nothing to do with the question that was asked. At all.
There was a moment of silence after I said this – the only thing I said during the whole conversation – before everyone started talking again as if I hadn’t spoken. In truth, that was maybe the best possible outcome, as it gave me a chance to silently perform an incantation that would make me invisible. Well, who knows? With my track record, I probably said that out loud, too.
Does anyone else have this problem? Tell me I’m not the only person in the world who manages to blush and stutter on a daily basis!