I started to write a big introduction about how wonderful he is and how almost 9 years of marriage has been magical. Mostly, it’s been hilarious. I share the funniest (and most PC) stuff on Facebook, so I decided to scroll back through some of the conversational highlights of 2014. So, instead of going on and on about him, let’s just giggle.
Happy holidays!
I just got done reading a blog about the “most annoying Christmas songs,” many of which I agreed with. Still, ‘tis the season and all that. I’d rather be jolly than annoyed, so I thought I’d share some of my favorites—at the very least, my favorite versions of some popular ones. When I set my Spotify to “private session,” there’s a good chance I’m listening to one of these songs, and I will be until the New Year.
Surprise! There’s a Swear and Shake song on this list. Who knew? But for real. Listen to Kari’s caramel vocals, the happy banjo, the festive uke. Who could hate Christmas while listening to this?
Someone needed to knock Mariah Carey of the Christmas Pop throne. I love that Kelly Clarkson did it with this song. Will I hate it in ten years after it’s been overplayed and overperformed on every Christmas special ever? Maybe. But for now, it makes me smile.
Guys. Bring this Christmas album back now. I grew up listening to this group with my family while traveling to various family holiday functions. The nostalgia is strong with this one.
Probably the most depressing Christmas song on the planet. But let me tell you, you haven’t experienced Christmas until you’ve seen a full, rowdy Irish pub come to a complete standstill the moment this song begins to play.
Mostly I love this one because it’s Christmas Matthew Mayfield style. Since I love his music and I love Christmas, getting them both together in one song is a pretty exciting gift.
Again, who’s surprised? Daniel Ellsworth on another “Jen’s favorite music” list. Well, I love his stuff for a reason, and this is epic Ellsworth. Fun, funny, quirky, intelligent, Christmas. What’s not to love?
I love that this folk band doesn’t try to hide or downplay their classical roots. Instead, they fold it right in, the way our ancestors surely did. It’s a study of the past, present, and future of music, and then, of course, there’s Christmas.
It’s a few years old, but I’m still not tired of it. Maybe because I only listen during Christmas, or maybe because it’s Jack’s Mannequin. Either way, it’s a nice addition to the playlist, and a break from all the same ol’ songs.
This is less a Christmas song and more a winter song, but it’s cold outside. Her voice is adorable, and I can’t get enough of the bouncy beat. It’s perfect for invoking thoughts of lit trees, hot chocolate, and Christmas movies.
So, how many will you add to your Christmas list? What’s your favorite Christmas song this year? I wanna know!
On Saturday, I had the privilege of speaking with Don Theo III at Bibliocircus for their first Biblio Cast. This was especially fun for me, since Don and I went to high school together. We talked about Going Under: The Oracles of St. Ambrose, specifically how Chase Bradford is a “fish out of water” for most of the book. It’s a feeling we were both familiar with.
If you missed your chance to listen along, you can catch the podcast by following the link below. Huge thanks again to Don and Bibliocircus for hosting me.
A few days ago, this little article tripped its way through my Facebook feed a few times, so I clicked. I fell prey to the bait. The idea behind the blog is that women over a certain age should stop wearing particular items because, well, we’re just too damn old. Ridiculous. The more I thought about each thing on the list, the more I asked myself WHY we have to stop wearing them. With that question in mind, I went back through and realized there are some valid reasons, maybe, that a woman shouldn’t wear these things over the age of 30.
Sure, I guess a woman over thirty should stop wearing leopard print if the print is MADE OF REAL LEOPARD FUR. But only then, and only if you’re morally opposed to fur or allergic to cats.
The real danger with sparkly pants is a sunny day. These things, while cute on woman of any age, could potentially blind someone. On a cloudy day? Go for it.
If it’s not sunny outside, wear the sparkly pants but leave the oversized sunglasses at home. Otherwise, wear any old size sunglasses you want. It’s your face, your eyes, and your fashion sense.
Come on. You’re gonna have boots on anyway, so who really cares? There is absolutely no reason you can’t wear non-matching socks. Ever. Go mix ‘em up right now if that’s your thing.
Don’t ever, ever wear hoop earrings if you’re allergic to the metal.
With winter coming? Furry boots are a must. Only, they’re not a smart idea around my house because Hurley thinks they’re other animals and attacks. My personal choice is not to wear them because I don’t want my feet to be chew toys. No attack dogs in your house? NO REASON NOT TO WEAR THEM.
Look, people started wearing fur because it was warm and necessary. If you’re cold, wear fur. If you live in the tropics, it’s probably not necessary.
I have no justification for this. But still, if you like it, wear it.
Most of the United States will be in a polar vortex for a majority of the winter. That’s a pretty good reason not to wear short dresses. But if you’re impervious to the cold, show those legs.
Again, cold. But if you wear furry boots and furry other things, you might just stay warm enough.
Um, I suppose if you’re not a farmer, you could do without these. But maybe you are a farmer. Or an Osh Kosh B’Gosh model. Or maybe you just like them. Seriously, wear the overalls.
Ever sat in a chair that’s really cold? With a crop top, that cold hits right in the middle of your back. If that kind of thing bothers you, don’t wear a crop top.
Hey, even this snarky blog said their jeans fit perfectly. Do what you want.
Definitely don’t wear these if you’re going to a job interview. Unless your interview is at Hooters. I don’t judge.
Now this is ridiculous. Putting on your favorite busted tennis shoes after a long day in heels is better than a bubble bath. But if you’re about to model the latest Jimmy Choo designs, the Chucks must come off.
The only reason you shouldn’t wear cheap bras is if you’re planning to go braless. Otherwise, who are we to tell you how much to spend on your unmentionables?
If you have sensitive eyes, the glitter might irritate them. Otherwise, glitter eyeshadow is awesome! It covers the fact that you haven’t tweezed your eyebrows in a week.
If you have weak ankles, platform flip-flops are a no-no. I avoid them at all costs, honestly, but I’d rather lose an eye than break my leg again. If you’re a thrill seeker? Go for it.
I agree with this one. Don’t give money to these people. They help perpetuate the myth that only a certain type of woman is beautiful, and you deserve to feel beautiful no matter what.
What’s not to like? They’re easy on your hair, meaning less breakage and smoother cuticle over time. Don’t wear scrunchies if you prefer the free-flowing mermaid look. Wear them if you’re dressing as Cyndi Lauper for Halloween. Actually, wear them whenever the hell you feel like pulling your hair out of your face. It’s your damn hair. (Thanks, Jasmine, for this contribution.)
So, yeah. I say women have a right to feel comfortable and beautiful in whatever they’re wearing, whatever others might say or think. Don’t let a snarky article make you feel like less. As long as you like it (and can deal with the consequences of wearing it), no one should tell you otherwise.
Someone just asked me what we plan to do this evening for Halloween, and my knee-jerk reaction was “Turn off the porch lights, lock the door, and pretend we aren’t home.” I have nothing against Halloween, or kids, or giving away candy. When I was a kid, I didn’t take issue with getting free candy. I just rarely take part in the whole giving/taking free candy, and for one very good reason: I’m an introvert.
Aside from a ridiculous blitz of my neighborhood as a senior in high school and a scavenger hunt in college, I stopped knocking on people’s doors for free candy at a pretty young age. What I do remember about Halloween went a little something like this:
“Well, hello there! And what is your Halloween costume this year?”
“I’m a cat.”
“Are you now? Can you meow for me like a cat?”
“No.”
“Oooh, and what is this cute rock star doing at my door?”
“Trick or treat.” (Shakes bag of candy meaningfully and stares over shoulder at Mom.)
“Well, this is a creative costume! Did you make it yourself?”
“Yes.”
“And did Mommy and Daddy help?”
“Yes.”
“I suppose you want some candy, huh?”
“Yes.”
I’m sure I went along with my sister and little friends to houses around town after that, but the story was always the same. I didn’t want to show off or do twirls. I didn’t want to explain my costume, which should have been obvious, anyway. I just wanted to grab my candy and go.
As an adult, I got excited about the first Halloween when I’d hand out candy. Surely this would be different, right? I bought piles of it, ready to pass out to kids in the neighborhood, excited to see all the costumes and watch their faces light up when I gave them the good stuff.
Darkness crept in, and I turned on the front porch light. I sat on the couch, waiting for the doorbell to ring. With each passing minute, my stomach squirmed more. I was excited! Or scared? Yeah, maybe scared.
Finally, someone knocked, and I jumped to my feet. When I pulled open the door, a huge group of kids stood with bags and buckets at the ready.
“Trick or treat!” they chorused.
“Hi!” I said.
“I’m a lion!”
“I’m a tiger!”
“I’m a bear!”
Oh, my. I had no idea what to say. Each kid took his turn explaining his costume. Parents huddled at the end of the sidewalk, watching the whole interaction with expectant faces.
“That’s…nice. Here’s your candy.”
I waved, shut the door, turned off the porch light, and spent the next two weeks eating candy.
And then a married a guy just like me. So, that’s why we’re not doing anything. We’ll turn on a scary movie, or maybe just a rerun of Criminal Minds. We’ll leave the door shut, the lights off, and shush the dog if someone dares to knock anyway.
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